Feeling a little ready to run today. Nashville. Seattle. An old but cozy barn somewhere where maple syrup can be made directly from a tree in my frozen front yard. Where I can complain about being cold for the first winter, but proud of myself when summer comes and ready to face it again when the next fall rolls around. I want it to be 1992 and I want to be wearing a lot of bulky, lightweight fabric with wire rim glasses drinking wine with a kind, but sort of arrogant boyfriend discussing the future of the internet. That’s where my head is right now. Or even in a sun drenched studio creating things with friends. I’d be real happy with that.
I’d really rather be there. Especially instead of writing code and talking about hosting and trying really hard to learn SQL.
I’m also very curious what’s next and how I get there. An exciting daydream, but a dangerous one to wish for something that does not yet exist when the place you are living in is very real and very good.
Instead of feeling dumpy about my life right now and the less glamorous, but very high in hours, very consuming parts of my job, I’m trying to shift my focus on two things:
- The patience that must come with not knowing what’s down the line.
- What can I do about it TODAY. Like, when I get home from work in 1 hour and 58 minutes + regular traffic, what are the steps that I can take to feel like I’m make strides towards my future.
Here are a few things that I’ve come up with since typing that last sentence:
- Start packing up my room. This is exciting, yes? I’m finally moving into my own place with my friend, Kaylee and this should not be minimized. I don’t feel like my life is moving forward? Well, that’s a downright lie! I can afford to move out. And that’s a big deal.
- Balance my bank account… I mean, I don’t really know if the phrase “balance my bank account” really means what I think it means, but basically, my intent with that is to just take stock of my spending for the last few weeks and make sure we’re all on the same page. And by “we” I mean me, myself and I. The Corporation of Julia Patton Singular and Fabulous. Money has been spent like pre-drought water over here this month (remember when I mentioned moving out?) and that needs to be pulled. back.
- Clean my room. Never not on the list. Life feels better when I can see my floor.
- DO NOT look at highly styled and highly idealized photos of other people’s lives. This is unproductive for my own life. And arguably not good for theirs either. Although, small businesses are cool and I don’t want to dog them for just doing what they do, which is styling really sick, mouthwatering pictures of life stuff.
I think those are all good places to start. Maybe, if I’m feel real ambitious, I can throw a little bit of creative productivity on the pile.