It’s Almost May

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I moved a few weeks ago. Out of my parents house and in to my very first adult apartment. It’s been wonderful. And really scary. Other things:
– Groceries cost more money than I thought they would.
– Once, I turned the oven on, left for work, and wouldn’t you know it? When I stopped by the apartment to eat my lunch that day (that’s also a thing I do now) the apartment was very warm and smelled like insurance claims.
– There’s a cool, old, green truck that parks across the alley from my apartment. It belongs to my neighbor who is nice enough.
– I’ve eaten more vegetable and less dessert than my 10 year old self would have imagined for ourself if given the opportunity to eat anything we wanted whenever we wanted. Proud/ashamed.
– I have a wall of bookshelves full of books and memories that makes me happier than I can say.
– The lightbulb in my room has been out for almost two weeks.
– I can’t stop walking around my neighborhood.
– Still up for grabs on my hypothetical not-engaged/not-pregnant but healthy-responsible-single-adult-female-lady-doing-it-for-herself registry are 1. a stand mixer 2. a food processor 3. outdoor table/chairs. Don’t be shy. Help a sista out. I bought you that thing for your wedding, remember?

I’ve been doing online dating. Which is terrible. And hilarious. And mostly terrible. Everyone who is single is doing it in some shape or form and if they say they’re not, they’re lying. Who knew that in the year 2016 and on the planet earth, you would be able to talk, at length, with your friends, about bad dates that were set-up, in large part, by your telephone?

I’d really like to go on more dates but I’d prefer the men (boys? …men.) to be considerably less bizarre. This is as diplomatically stated as I can possibly muster.

In case this hasn’t been clearly stated on this blog in a few years, I’M DEFINITELY SINGLE AND MY CALENDAR IS DEFINITELY OPEN FOR OPPORTUNITIES…

Requirements: 
– A Christian. Preferably a real one. And when I say ‘real,’ I’m not here to judge people’s personal faith’s. I am shooting for someone that doesn’t say they are a Christian and then spends 6-12 minutes of a date making fun of Christians and God and the Bible study that you just mentioned you’re really invested in. That’s just an example of a story I heard from a friend…
– Conversational. I told my friend, Dionna, that I really like to talk about myself. I know it. You know it. I could do it all day. Ask me a question about myself. I’ll happily answer it. And then some. But even if this is something that we all know, the fact that I can say that to Dionna with a straight face, and she wasn’t instantly and totally annoyed with me, means she’s a true friend. Anyway– I’d like to date someone who doesn’t mind that about me either. But also is easy enough to talk to that I can shut up sometimes and just listen. I really hate having to come up with all of the questions.
– Mildly good-looking. Hey. I mean..
And also, I’m not saying “mildly” because I’d like to downplay my vanity. No sir. I’m shooting for a solid 7/10. I don’t have time the upkeep, you know?
– Kind. This is the tip of a way larger conversation including, but not limited to: my childhood, defense mechanisms, sarcasm and a whole mess of therapy, but basically, I think I’m learning that I’m more fragile than I’d originally estimated. In the past few years, I’ve learned that there’s a tender side of me that just wants someone to treat gently.

Preferences:
– Funny. He doesn’t have to be as funny as me. Actually, he won’t be as funny as me.
– Adorable, which is different than “mildly good-looking” because adorable is in the eye of the beholder. And while we’re here, under this same “Looks” umbrella, I’d like to mention that it wouldn’t hurt if he resembled any of the 7 male leads in the cast of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. Except for Daniel.
– Prone to eating
– Someone who is attracted to little to no muscle definition, but a great personality
– Not a total stranger suggested to me by an algorithm. Can I get a “what what” for meet cutes?
– NOT THE MOST BORING PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WORLD WHICH WEIRDLY SEEMS TO BE EVERYONE I EVER GO ON DATES WITH.

Hard No’s:
– White sunglasses
– Singer/Songwriters

Enough on that. I won’t mention it again for five years. Hopefully, I won’t have to mention it again in 5 years. How did I just spend the last 45 minutes on that tangent?

In other news:

This article on kitchens made me cry?

Chrissy Teigen’s new cookbook is actually as amazing as you never would have guessed it would be. And more.

Watched this webseries in one sitting and now I want to be best friends with Julia Kramer more than ever before.

I’m following through with projects that I’ve been talking about for months. Not putting pressure or deadlines, but I’m working on moving forward.

Without spilling all on here about my job situation (cause Google searches are a thing and I really like my job) (Hi, coworkers who may or may not read this blog), I currently feel stuck between a position that I feel like I’m growing out of and a position that, although perhaps a positive challenge and moving in a generally right direction, lacks very little excitement and/or appeal to me. Hello, pensive Julia with bags packed for a new adventure (read: running from difficult times of growth). Hello, millennial with a complex about only spending her life doing things she’s passionate about. That being said, homegirl’s not going anywhere for a while. Could I be any more elusive?

I knew this year was going to be so freaking good. I knew it.

 

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