Happy Friday, friends!
I’m feeling kind of off today because I’ve been having lots of dreams about smoking pot lately. And I had one last night. Which is kind of throwing me this morning. Probably mostly because I’ve never done that in real life. (One time in college, I said that I had. But that wasn’t true. I was trying to be cool and also shut down an annoying person who was patronizing me… it’s a long story. I apologized for lying.) Anyway, I’m really wondering what that’s all about. Google is telling me all sorts of different things. Will continue to research.
Thanks to my bizarre dreams, restless sleep had me up extra early this morning. Which was a bit problematic due to the fact that I was up extra late last night packing for a little weekend jaunt to San Francisco this weekend with my mom and my sister and spending time with my other sister, Dionna. Friendship is a real gift. But friendships that are closer than just friendships are more than a gift. They’re like a perfectly chilled glass of water. You just feel better after drinking it in. It’s a health thing almost.
Special things that happened in the last 7 days:
My dear friend, Natalie, asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. I’m honored. I didn’t cry. But I wanted to. I tried to. It didn’t happen. But my insides were crying. I said yes. Of course. OF COURSE! of course.
My dad and I made a bench. A through and through, life-giving, and perfect way to spend time. And it’s so comfortable! Which no one believes. Because it’s just wood. But I swear, it’s bizarre how comfortable it is. Everyone who sits in it says so. I promise.
My friend Oli is a designer for Kate Spade. And she designed a hat. A hat which is so Oli. A hat which made it’s debut at New York Fashion Week today. There were a lot of other things too. But I’m proud of the hat. It’s making me so proud of her and her hard work and I’m super happy to be able to call her a good friend. So cool. So real. So proud.
I purchased a pink fuzzy sweater that just arrived in the mail.
FINALLY ate at Sqirl. Got to see that Lauren Gillan that I love so much.
I went to Pressed Juicery three very separate times in a row this week. Is summer here? It feels like it. (Size 1, Vanilla with Pink Himalayan Salt for all you secret admirers out there trying to score some JP points).
In other news:
Unrelated to Valentine’s Day, singleness is something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately. To give a little bit of context and to call it like it is (this blog is a safe space, right? we’re all friend here) I’m 24 and I’ve never been in a relationship. And it’s something I’m insecure about. And though it has bothered me more on a “what’s wrong with me?” level before, at this point, it’s just kind of like a little gnat that gets in the way of things that are right in front of me.
Dionna and I talked about it a lot last night in a really honest, encouraging, transparent way. We talked about how I feel like I have major walls up around guys for some reason (or actually, for really specific reasons that I have a pretty good idea about, if I’m being honest). We also talked about how there are so many different ways of being confident in yourself. And even though you have some mastered, there are still a bucket of ways that are terrifying and really hard to tackle. We talked about how guys are still a super crazy confusing mystery to me that I’m intimidated by. And we also talked about how people meet people in the most random of ways and that in the meantime, it’s best to… for lack of a better term, ‘do you.’ I really like my life right now. And yeah, there’s still a lot to figure out, but I’m feeling pretty on it. And happy. And, as I’ve mentioned on here before, I’m really working on enjoying and being grateful for this time. For me, right now, that looks like lots of reading, lots of learning, creative experimentation, treating my body better, treating myself better. Because, if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times: You have be your own #1 shorty before you can be someone else’s #1 shorty.
Still sorting this one. Is this interesting to read?
Meanwhile, I don’t have lots of links today, but I do have a playlist that you can look at as either devoted to Valentine’s Day or having nothing to do with it. Thanks for reading this, if you are. You mean a lot to me.