Still Here

Hello, all! Definitely still alive up here in toasty NYC. I’ve been taking an accidental blogging break, but I just wanted to check in and say hi. 
I was talking to a friend the other day who was asking me why I hadn’t blogged lately and I told her that if I could be blogging, I definitely would be blogging. 
There are these annoying weeks of conflicting silence and noise that go on in my head every so often and unfortunately I seem to be in the middle of one right now. The times when I have the most to write about are when I find that I have nothing really to say. Situations like living in New York city, my mental highway of thoughts on my future, what a weird, weird place the fashion world is, friendships,  ay, caramba, friendships, approaching the gnawing reality of my senior project. Believe me. They’re all there in my mind. Very impatiently jumping to be dealt with– processed in my own over sharing prone, typo riddled, online closet of storage boxes. 
But I find that it is most hard for me to write things down is when I am fearful. And unfortunately right now, it seems that a lot of the situations in my life are currently rooted in fear. To me, words feel concrete and when I see them in black and white, posted (somewhat) permanently in front of me, those thoughts then feel permanent too. Which is quite ironic (and quite frustrating) because sometimes the only thing that helps me sort through something for myself is to write and write and write and write until there is not but one run on sentence left unturned. 
Simply put, this:
I will write about my life when I know what to write about my life. 

One thought on “Still Here

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