I hope this isn’t awkward.

It is 11:19 and Christmas is coming to a close. I am so sad. But also overwhelmed with thankfulness at what a beautiful day it turned out to be.

Quality time with family, laughter, presents, and food. What’s not to love?

And I got these shoes from my mom and dad. (read: from my mom.)

It went like this:

Open box
Gasp at the amazingness of shoe
Instantly proud of my mom for buying something so daring
“Oh my gosh! I love them!”
Proudly hold them up to my family who are all looking on
Wonder why they all look so horrified
Realize to the untrained eye, they bare a striking resemblance to that of a hooker
Their shocked silence quickly turns into sarcasm and ridicule
They make fun of me
I slowly lower them back into the box
I close the box
…But I like them
Maybe I’ll exchange them for flats
…But I like them
But I’m not a prostitute
Take them in my bedroom
Accidentally try them on while I’m switching from a dress to sweats and only wearing a black slip
This does nothing to convince me that I don’t look like a whore
Leave them at time-out in my room while I carry on with the rest of Christmas festivities
The shoes haunt me
I wonder, will I wear these?
Will I wear these in Newport?
Will I wear these in Savannah?
Savannah
That’s it
Emergency mass text to the roomies
“Keep or exchange”
Resounding unanimous “Keep”
I try them on again
I trip
Figures
Time passes
I try them on again
I am in love
Why did I ever doubt you, oh red platform wonders?
You are jazzy, and tall, and comfortable, and red.
I am ashamed, but you are merciful
My toes are warm in your arms
I go to bed happy.

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