Something that I’ve recently come to realize about myself is that I need human interaction. I love long conversations, surprise letters in the mail and even a smile from someone I pass on the street. Even this blog and all of your delightful comments are in some way keeping me in talks with people at all times. These things let me know that I’m awake and alive and breathing and thinking and continuing to learn knew things every day. Up until college I would have placed myself in the ‘more of a listener than a talker’ category. It’s almost comical how wrong this is. Blame it on the fact that I like the sound of my own voice, or the way no one in my family can go 2 sentences without interrupting each other or maybe it’s my families nasty little habit of talking just about everything in our lives out with a shrink somewhere in an office on a couch with the clock running, but I almost feel that things aren’t official in my life until it’s been said out loud. I’ve seen myself on a handful of occasions this year finally decide on something I’d been mulling over in my head and just about explode with anticipation until I declare my intentions out loud to someone in the room.
And it’s not just talking. It’s a general understanding that ‘yes. I see you. I acknowledge you’ with not just my friends but also the random pedestrian on the street. Here in Savannah, my friends could probably pay for their whole college education if they had a dollar for every time I said out loud “How hard is it just to smile at someone when you walk past them? It’s not going to break your face or anything.” This phrase I undoubtedly got from my mother who used to say the same thing every so often everywhere from a walk at the beach to passing someone in your car in a parking lot. When I wake up in the morning, the day hasn’t officially started until someone has mentioned something about the forecasted weather, how they slept the night before or what their plans are and I can’t fall asleep at night until I verbally recount how I felt things had eventually played out that day.
As I’ve discovered this trait, I can see how my chattiness can get old at times. Living in the dorms is already crammed enough, and having someone blabbering 24/7 can’t make things any easier. I plan on working on this and trying to employ new rules like speak only when spoken to and only say things that are absolutely necessary, but I don’t know how much good those will do. It’s a fact. I talk a lot. I say things to try and make not only you laugh, but myself laugh too. Always have. Always will.
I don’t know what I’m going to do about this part of me. Maybe I’ll talk it out.
PS. If you want to be one of those lovely previously mentioned surprisers who send me mail and make my day exponentially better, don’t worry– YOU CAN! No note or letter is too small or big. My mailing address is still 231 West Boundary, Savannah, GA, 31401. Box 667.