Guys! Exciting news. My friend, Lindsay and I are very excited to force you all to listen to us talk about things that are surprisingly relevant to both of us… considering our MASSIVE age gap. No, we’re kidding. Age is just a number. Or a state of mind. Then again… her husband Greg (our food correspondent) does drive Honda Accord.
We’re just baby podcasters. And I say “um” too much. But, love us or leave us– we’re here to stay!
Stay tuned to for more episodes every other week. Hopefully. No. Definitely. We’re definitely doing it. This is happening…? Yes.
Just watched this video from ITG on, of all things, how to wash your face.
At the risk of losing all my friends/ future beauty advice credibility, I will admit that I only started regularly (and by regularly, I mean ever) washing my face as of maybe…. yikes… 3 or 4 years ago. Yeah. Explains a lot about a lot. Now, I’m kind of addicted to skincare and I truly can’t fall asleep without washing my face, brushing my teeth (if this one sounds like a given, you clearly didn’t know me as a child…or in high school), taking my vitamins and moisturizing the heck out of my face.
So, color me shocked after I watched this video and realized that I’m still doing everything wrong when it comes to skin.
Things I’m thinking while watching this video:
- ok, so she’s French. My immediate reaction to being around anyone who is French is to admit my own bridge trollness. Accept it and move on, you American scum.
- I need a white jumpsuit.
- My body would look like a full roll of toilet paper in that white jumpsuit.
- “This seems simple, but is not.” She knows her audience. And I already can feel myself failing at this before I even begin.
- “Termal” water = Thermal water = Apparently ESSENTIAL
- Her face/ the shake of her chin when she says “Eet’s a clean wawta” screams “THE FACT THAT YOU DON’T KNOW MEANS IT’S TOO LATE.”
- She seems like the kind of person that Harry Styles would date
- She seems like the kind of person that Harry Styles would write a song about where-in there’s a line that talks about how beautiful she is when she cries.
- Penetrate. Lol.
- I never do the neck…………
- I’ve never spent this much time touching my own face. Or swimming.
- (Googles ‘tepid’)
- On dabbing: So, it’s bad when I push the washcloth against the under part of my eyes and drag it across my face with all of my own strength to get the mascara off?
- So if my skin is like silk… but in real life, I never buy silk things bc I’m afraid I’ll ruin them… am I screwed?
- I’m calling bull shit on that tissue paper part. There’s no way that your face isn’t covered in little tiny paper particles after that step.
- (Amazon Prime searches ‘termal water’)
- BUT WHAT ACTUALLY IS TONER?
- Penetration. Lol.
- I’m sorry but how is she literally one thousand times more beautiful after taking all of her makeup off? You’re trying to tell me that not all women look like a wet pre-me baby without four layers of makeup on at all times? Show me the receipts.
- That is crazy that after all that, she STILL gets visible dirt off those pads. Our faces are disgusting.
Going to try this whole process tonight and maaayybe tomorrow night and then probably forget all about it and never do it again. But see #1: American Trash Bridge Troll. It’s what I know.
“And when I tried to walk away, You’d hurt yourself to make me stay.” Daaaaaaaaamn.
I definitely have not technically been through that. But it still stings, you know?
Bonus WIIT: The entire album of The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, tbh.
Introduction and also Spoiler alert: a good 65% of the things I find interesting on the internet and share with my friends is from a blog called Cup of Jo. But I didn’t need to tell you that because you probably already read it too. It’s just consistently good and Joanna and her writers feel like friends to me. I have a strict “don’t bug a celebrity in public” policy, but one time in New York, I saw Joanna at a Madewell and HAD to say hi and tell her how much I’ve enjoyed her blog for… well, actually since I was in high school. I still feel bad about it a little bit, but I couldn’t help myself.
Anywho, she posted a collection of pieces of Advice for My Younger Self from a bunch of famous women. This isn’t really a new concept and there are a lot of these on the internet and a lot of them are wonderful too, but this all just is hitting me at a really good time. A lot of unexpected/expected/scary/exciting life changes in this week (even though it’s only Wednesday morning!) have gone down and I feel both a really empowering feeling of capability and a sense of “This is cool! These are big life things and I’m handling them well! I’m an adult lady!” / pat on the back vibes and then also feeling completely out of my league and the child-like desire for someone to tell me what to do. I’m being purposely broad about what exactly is going down because that itself is something I’ve learned along the way and maybe my advice to my younger self: “Shut your mouth. Stop talking. You don’t have to tell everyone everything. Nor should you.”
My favorite of the article is from Sheryl Strayed who said, “Don’t worry so much about finding the answers and finding love and finding success. Just do your work. Live your life. Be kind. Be good. Pay your own electric bill. It’s going to turn out okay.”
AREN’T WE ALL JUST LEARNING AND DOING IT IN A GOOD WAY? Pretty sure I’m not the only one.
But ok — here’s a link to the article.
My eyes widen and my heart warms when I see that Man Repeller has posted another “It’s Kind of a Funny Story” article.
As single as I am, I have lived enough years and have enough friends with normal, healthy relationships with relationships that I know that love stories in the wild are not like Romantic Comedies. Which bums me out because I love a J Lo / McConaughey combo. But I have learned this. I have accepted it. The guys I don’t like in real life are really the guys I don’t like in real life and not my future husband. My regular coffee shop is just my regular coffee shop… nomatter how much subtle eye-contact I make with the cute non-wedding ring wearing guy reading Tolstoy. Meet cutes don’t really happen. But then again, THEY KIND OF DO! Because if it’s true that real life really is stranger than fiction, then doesn’t that make real life love stories way more romantic than fiction ones?
If you don’t believe me, take a beat and read a few of these *highly detailed* accounts of how these very happy and very cool couples got their start. Because let’s be honest, when you ask someone “So, how’d you two meet?” and they give you the highly unsatisfying and MAYBE KIND OF RUDE TO ME answer “Through friends,” IT’S BULLSHIT. I know, you know, we know, he knows that that is NOT the whole story. It’s never that simple. And, listen, if it is, I’m actually not interested in continuing the conversation. You’re boring. Anyway, we all know that there’s like so much more… I was leaving for school in two weeks, I’d been creeping on him since Freshman Year, We went to 10 years of grade school together but weren’t friends, We dated in secret for months bc of our jobs… maybe all real life examples from my friends… maybe not… I’m just saying.
Go pour yourself a cup of coffee and then spike it with a little bit of alchy, sit down, and dig in. You’ll love them, I swear.
Find them here.
I am a simple girl. With simple wants and needs.
I like my coffee decaf with vanilla so that it barely tastes like coffee.
I like my books obscure enough to make me sound interesting, but basic enough that they don’t make me feel dumb.
I like my music Top 40.
I like my steaks medium rare. With some sort of buttery sauce.
And I like my Bachelor Leads to be as close to Ben Higgins, if not actually Ben Higgins, forever.
Don’t even get me started on the shit show that is Nick Viall’s season of the Bachelor. We’ll be here all day and I won’t be practicing Shine Theory, so I’ll refrain.
But, instead, I am just going to highlight this episode of ‘Bachelor Party’ (my Bachelor recap podcast of choice) on Channel 33 with guest, the one and only, Ben Higgins and THEN LOOK ME IN THE EYES AND TELL ME THAT HE ISN’T THE GREATEST BACHELOR WE NEVER KNEW WE HAD.
Funny. Kind. Apparently as of the record of this podcast works a totally boring, but stable sales job that says “My longterm plan isn’t to hawk Tummy Tea on Instagram.” He even gets a little deep on the episode and states clearly his views on women not using their overt sexuality to be good enough for a guy. Bravo!
I’m cutting myself off before this get’s weird. But I’m just saying. Ben. Come back to us. But don’t. Because that’ll mean that you and Lauren have broken up and I don’t want that for you.
So, I guess, keep coming back to be a guest on this podcast. And then continue to live your life in Colorado obscurity looking caught off gaurd and a little bit annoyed in Lauren’s Snapchat stories. Yes. That’s what I would like. We miss you.
Exciting: Making mood boards for my fictitious future living room is my passion.
Nothing too groundbreaking here. Just good music making all the difference this morning.
(Except for the part where Fun. and Smashmouth make their way onto the playlist.)
(Just kidding. I love that Smashmouth song.)
(I don’t even mind that Counting Crows song.)
(But I hate Fun.)
(Not the concept.)
Make today the best day of your week!
Julia who slept well and ate a large breakfast today and LOVES. THIS. WEATHER. Patton